The Ence Gang

The Ence Gang

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Meal Time Frustrations

Do you have something with your kids, or just in general in your life, that just really bugs you? It just rubs you the wrong way, or frustrates you to no end. Something like that, do you?

Mine is meal times. It makes me so sad to say and admit that, because if you know me, then you know that I love food and that I love eating. (How am I not a million pounds?) So the fact that meal time has become a dreaded time for me (has for a long time actually) makes me blue.

Bladen has off and on been a turkey about eating food. I think all kids are, its something we've all got to figure out. The child learning side, and the parent learning side. Well as of right now, my parent learning side is stumped and just frustrated. (And quite frankly grossed out.)


Hold that thought.

Background:

Bladen hasn't been too good at feeding himself. I'm sure I haven't helped the situation much by feeding him bites even now at 2 years old, but at the time, my priority was to just make sure he ate. If I didn't feed him, he wouldn't eat, plain and simple. Why? I don't know!!! So I unintentionally have created a pattern of him waiting for me to feed him sometimes. Sometimes. He is getting better at that.

Also, he was never interested in the food I made for dinner for our family. He wouldn't ever eat it as a little kid, or now. I seriously have few meals that he likes well enough to eat, where I don't have to cook separate meals. Maybe that's normal, but its hard to not feel normal when it seems like everyone else's kids eat great and eat whatever. (Am I wrong? Do your kids have some of these issues too? Ease my mind.)

I've been preparing things that he will feed himself, things that he can use a fork or a spoon with no problem. (Character Easy Mac, not regular. Too hard to stab. Yogurt, sometimes rice, ramen, etc.) Then duh, of course there are finger foods and sandwiches. Hit and miss with those. Sometimes we can manage to take bites of sandwiches, sometimes they sit there uneaten until I help him take a bite.

Breakfast in general, he's a rock star. He always has a banana with peanut butter, and either a bagel and cream cheese or bread and PB or Nutella. (I have a skinny kid that is close to the 10 percentile for weight gain. Naysayers and judgy people, button it. Plus Nutella is delicious and should be eaten at all meals anyway.)

Sometimes we do a snack, sometimes we don't. He almost always asks for juice. (Watered down 1:3 ratio.)

Then lunch time rolls around, and it is really hit or miss most of the time. Same with dinner. I give him things that I know he will eat, or at least has eaten in the past. And then I either help him eat (help is the opposite of what I am feeling during these times), or sometimes he eats great by himself.





OK.


Jump to the last week or so (and random times before now). We are on an entirely different problem. Bladen won't eat what we give him. Its a fight to get him to try anything, even stuff he likes. (Cheese, fruit, mac and cheese, yogurt. Nope nope nope.) We will make him take bites and then he just holds it in his mouth. Here is where the grossed out part comes in. He holds it there for a long time, as long as he can until he gets too much saliva in his mouth to hold it all, gags, and then spits it out or throws up. (Did you just gag too?) It seriously makes me sick to watch all this go down, and then I gag, and then its like that episode of The Office where Pam pukes in the garbage can in front of everyone, and then everyone else loses it. Its gross, and so indescribably frustrating. What do I do? Its my JOB as the mom, as a parent, to make sure my son is healthy and fed. So what do you do when your kid won't eat?

Ok. Logically Deric and I said, we won't force him to take bites. We will let him feed himself. He still holds food in his mouth that he feeds himself. (Insert aggravated/confused scream.) Him holding the food in his mouth that he chose to "eat" is a new one as of two days ago. Even his favorites. So..... yes. I am at a loss.

I've researched this online, and lots of people have gone through something similar. Its all a bit different to their own situations. But most of those people say that its just a phase. The "Chipmunk cheek" phase. I hope it is. It could also be a swallowing problem, which I can't imagine. He's always been fine. ???

The reason why this stresses me out so much is because I don't know what to do to fix it. I can usually figure these things out, I feel like I have good mommy instincts with most things. But I have a skinny kid, a small cute scrawny kid. Its always been a source of stress for me, making sure he is eating enough. I'm not sure why it stresses me out so much, I just want to make sure I am doing my best to raise and keep my kid healthy. I know kids grow up on only mac and cheese, or only some other kinds of food that you would think might not be the best. But then they are fine. That worries me sometimes too, but at this point, I just want my son to eat something. I just want to do what's best for my son, and for him to be happy. (And healthy.) Ugh, this parenting thing. =) Its tough.

My Facebook friends have had a lot of great advice, and I am still seeking it if you have it. Even if you commented before. Now that we all know the silly situation, tell me to take a chill pill. Or sympathize with me and make me feel better. =) Any ideas?

It was so easy and fun then. =) I miss those big baby eyes, I think he's grown into them more now so they don't seem so big. Oh my baby... *sniff*  

Bladen-

My adorable son that I love more than anything, please quit being a turkey and just eat your food. I don't care what you eat (for now), but will you please ease your mother's stress and get some meat on those bones already?! Oh and when you say snow, will you promise to always pronounce it the way you do now? "Sa-no." Its my favorite. Also how you say "froggy" and take my hand and tell me to "come on." Always do those things please. I love you. 

-Your stressed mommy



2 comments:

Steph said...

I emailed my comments. Love you

Lola + Ryan said...

Hey! I am not saying this is what's happening with Bladen, but I'm just sharing this story to provide perspective, maybe a different way to view things?

My boss at a former place of employment told me how his son got really picky when he was a toddler. He'd sit there for hours at the dinner table refusing to eat and holding food in his mouth (I think he did that last part, not sure) and not actually eating it. A couple years later, they found out he has some sort of ear or throat problem, making it painful to swallow. He had to get surgery for it. My boss felt AWFUL. He's like, "I sat there yelling and screaming at my kid, made him sit there for hours, practically beat him over this...and he was in PAIN. He was just too young to tell me."

Not to freak you out. hahaha. Just provides perspective. Love you!